The taste of the
whiskey felt good as it slid down Kate’s throat. It burnt ever so slightly as it trickled down before settling
warmly in her stomach.
How many was
that now? She wondered to
herself as she put the glass back down on the small table, quickly pouring
another one from the near-empty bottle.
She managed to slosh some of it onto the table surface, maintaining to
herself that it must have been the rocking motion of the boat that caused it
and nothing to do with the fact that she was well on her way to reaching her
goal of getting completely off her face.
She’d managed to
achieve that aim of each of the previous four nights, so why should today be
any different? The drink helped her
forget everything. In particular it
helped her forget Andrea.
Kate rubbed
roughly at her forehead as the other woman leapt painfully into her
thoughts. This was why she needed the
drink, she told herself, to numb the feelings of despair and loneliness those
images evoked. Those feelings had
settled deep within her the moment Andrea had taken to the skies, leaving her
nursing a sore arm and a broken heart.
Pouring the last
drops from the bottle, she stumbled to her feet, banging into the kitchen
counter in the enclosed space of the cabin.
She loudly cursed the inaminate object, hitting it with her hand for
good measure. All that served to do was
make her hand sting as well as her hip.
Continuing to mutter drunkenly to herself she staggered to the
cupboards, retrieving another bottle of whiskey.
She needed
another one, since she still had enough wits about her to be able to recall
what had happened the past few days.
Not only had Andrea left her, but the Colonel’s previous assessment of
her situation had proved accurate – he couldn’t protect her this time. The mess with Andrea was one mistake too far
as far as her career was concerned, and she was now on suspension, pending
official investigation and possibly court martial.
They could throw
the book at her as far as she was concerned, she didn’t give a monkey’s.
Flopping back
onto the seating, she quickly unscrewed the cap and had already poured most of
another exceedinly large measure when the sound of footsteps on the deck above
stalled her. Her first riduculous
thought was that it was Andrea. This
was quickly crushed as the door to the small cabin swung open. Though her eyes were finding it strangely
difficult to focus, she could just blearily make out the form of her friend,
Sophie McAllister, on the threshold.
“Sophie, come in,
have a drink,” slurred Kate welcomingly.
“I think you’ve
had enough for the both of us,” noted Sophie as she joined Kate at the table.
“Oh, don’t be
such a party pooper,” said Kate, slapping her playfully on the arm, “Just a
small one,” she prompted, waving the bottle loosely in the air.
Sophie caught her
arm, taking the bottle gingerly from her grasp before it smashed onto the
table.
“What’s going on,
Kate,” she asked, placing it carefully down out of Kate’s reach, “I turned up at the base only to find that
you were on suspension. No one was very
forthcoming with details.”
“Really? I would have thought they couldn’t wait to
gossip about it.”
“It seems
not. So what happened?”
Kate took a fresh
swig from her glass. “Andrea’s
disappeared without authorisation”
“Shit!” exclaimed
Sophie, “I told her if she hurt you, I’d kill her. Wait until I get my hands on her!”
Sophie had shot
up from the table, Kate forlornly trying to call her back. “Sophie…”
“I’ll make her
wish she had never been born…” conitinued the Scotswoman, pacing across the
enclosed space.
“Sophie!”
The other woman
stopped at Kate’s raised voice. “What?”
“It wasn’t
Andrea’s fault, it was me,” confessed Kate, feeling disinctly sorry for
herself, “I’ve got no one else but myself to blame for this.”
Sophie plonked
herself back down opposite Kate, staring right at her. “All right, start spilling.”
Kate sighed,
running her hands through her already disarrayed hair. This was all she needed – having to drag
everything back up for Sophie’s benefit.
She supposed she could just tell her friend to get lost, but then she
didn’t have many people she could rely on right now. So she explained everything from the beginning, Sophie listening
intently to the tale and not interupting.
“And basically
that’s it,” she said as she got to the end, “I was only trying to do the right
thing, but now everything’s shot to shit.”
“It certainly is
a predicament,” agreed Sophie.
“Ha!” cried Kate,
her elbow slipping across the table top as she lost her balance on it, “The
typical British ability for understatement rears it’s head. It’s a fucking mess that’s what it is,” Kate
corrected, not caring that she was using language she’d never normally
comtemplate uttering. “And it’s all my
own stupid fault!” she added banging her head on the table. “Maybe it’s a woman thing,” she mused,
glancing up between the folds of her hair, “Everything always has to be so
overcomplicated. It was so much easier
with men.”
“Not all women
are complicated. Sometimes it’s pretty
easy to tell what they want and how they feel.”
Kate looked dazedly
up at Sophie. “I suppose you’re right,
she agreed, take you for example, I know where I am with you.”
Kate shuffled a
little closer on the seat, Sophie shifting uneasily at her proximity but not
moving away.
“Why couldn’t we
have got together eh?” remarked Kate, trying for a soft tone, but failing
miserably when her words came out slurred once more.
“Kate…,” was all
Sophie said in return, the warning obvious in her voice.
At least it would
have been obvious to anyone not completely drunk.
“It would be so
much easier wouldn’t it,” Kate continued, oblivious to her friend’s
disquiet. She leant in and pushed her
lips to Sophie’s, barely registering how it felt through the haze of her mind.
Sophie
immediately shot back in shock. “What
the bloody hell are you doing?”
Kate blinked at
her, her thoughts slowly settling into some form of order. “Christ!” she exclaimed, shooting to her
feet and bringing her hand to her head as she realised exactly what she had
been doing, “Sorry, sorry, I don’t know what came over me!”
“It’s all right,”
said Sophie, trying to placate the agitated Kate.
“No, it’s not,”
countered Kate frantically, suddenly sober, “Shit! What on earth was I
thinking?”
“Not of me,
that’s for sure.”
Kate stopped her
pacing. “Sorry?”
“You were
thinking of Andrea, you always are.”
Kate merely
looked at her like she was mad. “How
did you work that one out? I just
kissed you for crying out loud. How can
I claim to love Andrea if I’m so easily swayed?”
“That’s just it,
I don’t think you are - I’m just a convenient substitute for you to focus your
frustrated desires on.”
“Even if that is
it, it still doesn’t excuse it in my eyes,” said Kate, sinking back down onto
the seat, her head in her hands.
“Look, Kate,
don’t beat yourself up about it, I’ve forgotten it already.”
Kate flicked a
glance at Sophie. “That good was it?”
“You do stink of
whiskey rather,” noted Sophie, trying to make light of the whole thing.
“Thanks!”
“You’d rather I
say I enjoyed it, that I want to do it again?” asked Sophie pointedly.
“No,” Kate
conceded, “I’m sorry, Sophie, it was unfair of me to do that to you. Andrea said…,” Kate had to take a moment as
she stumbled over Andrea’s name, “She said that you still had feelings for me. If that’s the case then I’m even more
sorry.”
Sophie paused,
glancing away out one of the dark portholes.
“I would be lying if I said I didn’t still feel…something,” she began,
not looking Kate in the eye as she spoke, “But I realised long ago that it was
all one way on my part. Then Andrea
came along and at first that maybe gave me some hope, since it showed you were
willing to contemplate being with a woman.
However, it didn’t take me long to see that it wasn’t that you wanted to
be with a woman necessarily, you wanted to be with one woman in
particular. You wanted to be with
someone you loved, and Andrea was that person.
Of course there’s part of me that would still love to be with you, but what
good would that do me, knowing all the time you were in love with someone else,
that you were thinking about her?”
“I’m so sorry,
Sophie,” said Kate genuinely, “I had no idea.”
“Yeah, well now
you do,” said Sophie with a dismissive shrug, “I might not be able to have who
I want, but there’s nothing standing in your way. The person you love loves you back.”
“Maybe not
anymore,” noted Kate, the sharp pain in her chest as she said the words taking
her breath away.
“And would your
feelings disappear so quickly if Andrea did something similar to you?”
Kate thought
about it for a moment, supposing Sophie had a point. “No, I don’t think so,”
she answered.
“Then what makes
you think hers have?” pointed out Sophie, “Sure outwardly she may be hurt,
angry, upset, but deep down I’m betting she still loves you.”
Kate considered
her words, thinking back to the tempestuos argument with Andrea. The young woman had been so furious on the
mountainside it was scary. For a moment
Kate had thought that Andrea might actually hurt her as all the rocks flew down
about her. And the look in Andrea’s
eyes just before she left had been so chilling, it had torn Kate’s insides to
ribbons. Not to mention the wrenching
out of the tracker prior to that. Kate
felt freshly sick just thinking of the blood-stained device sitting at her
feet. Yet as Kate pondered those
terrible moments again, she realised that even then there had been just the
tiniest hints that maybe not all was lost - how Andrea had protected her from
the crash and then hovered for an almost imperceptable moment afterwards.
“Go and speak to
her Kate,” said Sophie, breaking her thoughts, “What have you got to lose?”
………..
Heeding Sophie’s
advice, Kate caught the overnight train down to London, assuming that was where
Andrea would go back to – somewhere she knew, somewhere she felt safe. The journey down had been agonisingly slow,
Kate hardly able to sleep at all with her thoughts and emotions in such
turmoil. Her mind just kept going over
and over the same thoughts, regrets over what she should have done and thoughts
of what she might say to Andrea given half the chance.
Once in the
capital, her first stop was Andrea’s flat.
She hardly expected to find the young woman there, but supposed it would
be as good a starting point as any.
Fortunately she had remembered the address of it from Andrea’s file, not
pondering too long on why exactly she might have committed it to memory all
those months ago when she had first read it.
Having caught the tube and wandered round with her hastily acquired A to
Z, trying not to look too much like a tourist, Kate finally located the
converted Georgian terrace where Andrea used to live. The street was in a gentrified area of Islington, and Kate
wondered how exactly a Detective Sergeant in the Met might afford something
there. She vaguely recalled Andrea
mentioning a trust fund that her parents had set up for her, and supposed that
her estrangement from them didn’t extend to not utilising that financial
support.
Running her
finger down the list of three flats that the former single house had been
converted into, she saw that Andrea’s was the top one. Kate stood in the sun on the outside
doorstep for a moment considering her options.
A quick glance up and down the street revealed that there was no one
else around, hardly surprising given that it was the middle of the day and the
inhabitants were all most likely at work.
Turning back to the door she shielded her hands from the street, just in
case anyone was watching, and focussed a tiny concussion wave at the lock.
She realised that
using her powers would register back on Duransay, thanks to the tracker in her
right arm which would also let them know exactly where she had used them. However, she took the calculated risk that
the small blip wouldn’t warrant a full scale search and contain mission. She could do without army helicopters
descending on the quiet city street.
More likely the obviously public usage would be added to the list of
grievances against her.
Upstairs she
knocked a couple of times, her heart skipping just that bit faster at the thought
that maybe, just maybe Andrea would be there.
Disappointment quickly settled back over her when it became obvious she
wasn’t, and another focussed beam granted her access to the flat.
It didn’t look
like anyone had lived in the flat for months, which Kate supposed was about
right. It felt odd wandering round
Andrea’s former home alone, like she was intruding on something she
shouldn’t. Not that there was much left
in the flat, since most of Andrea’s personal belongings had been shipped up to
Scotland. She strolled through the
kitchen, a few utensils still hung up on hooks and there was an empty cat food
bowl on the floor. She imagined the
last time Andrea would have filled it up before her life changed forever on
that fateful day back in March. At
least Gerry was still being safely looked after back on Duransay, Kate having
made sure Tom took care of him in hers and Andrea’s absence.
As she made her
way inot the livong room she saw it had also had most of its contents
removed. The furniture was still there,
but that was about it save for a few odd pictures, coated in a thin layer of
dust.
She picked up one
of them, wiping away the film and absently running her thumb over the glass
when she saw that it depicted Andrea, smiling warmly as she posed with a couple
of friends. Kate had to furiously
brush away the tears that were welling up in her eyes, swallowing the lump in
her throat at the same time. Looking at
the other people in the photo, Kate recognised the small woman on Andrea’s left
from when she had met her at Maria Fernandes’ funeral – it was Meg.
Deducing that she
should probably be her next port of call, Kate placed the picture back and
searched around for any sort of address book or something similar. She found one tucked away in a drawer near
the phone, and, taking it with her, left the flat to go and see Andrea’s
ex-girlfriend. Again, she didn’t think
Andrea would be there, but Meg was probably the person Andrea was closest to
down in London. She was one of the few
people Andrea still had contact with, so if anyone knew where she was it would
be Meg. Kate just hoped that she would
be willing to part with that information.
Meg’s flat was in
a much less salubrious location in Highgate, further up the Northern Line from
Andrea’s home. Since Meg’s flat was in
a purpose built block, Kate just hung around by the main front door for a while
until someone came out and she could nonchalantly catch the door to allow her
entry. Once on the third floor her
knock led the door to be opened by the small woman Kate had met only once
before. She supposed the petite woman
was pretty in a kind of elfin way with short, dark hair framing a well-defined
face. All she wore was a towelling
robe, despite the fact that it was nearly midday.
“Yes?” said the
other woman tersely, before recognition suddenly dawned. “Oh, hello.
You better come in.”
The quickness
with which the invite occurred made Kate think she had been right in assuming
Meg might know something. As Kate
stepped into the flat she could immediately detect the sound of the shower
running, swinging round to Meg.
“Sorry, am I
disturbing something?”
“No, Andi’s just
taking a shower.”
Kate had to stop
herself swallowing her tongue in shock.
She had just thought Meg might give her some pointers to Andrea’s
location – she had never expected to actually find her there.
“She’s here?” she
asked incredulously, her heart starting to beat erratically at the prospect of
seeing Andrea.
“I thought you
knew that, since you’ve come round.”
“No, I…” Kate
trailed off trying to gather herself.
Andrea was there, mere feet away.
“I’m sure she’ll
be out in a moment,” noted Meg, walking in the direction of the small kitchen
area, “Would you like a drink in the meantime?”
Kate was far too
busy staring at the bathroom door to process the question properly. “Um…no…thanks,” she said absently.
Meg continued to
prepare one for herself as Kate made a quick scrutinising sweep of the flat to
try and calm her racing heart. It was
pretty pokey, with the living room and kitchen all in one open plan area. That just left the bathroom and what Kate
assumed was the bedroom. Suddenly it
occurred to her that there was only one of those. Her eyes quickly flicked to the sofa, her heart missing a beat
when she saw there was no sign that someone was sleeping on that.
The sound of the
bathroom door drew her eyes back across to the far side of the room. Andrea wandered out, not noticing their
company since she was towelling her hair dry, and starting to cross the room wearing
only a short robe.
Kate stopped
breathing for a moment at the sight of Andrea, her eyes fixed unwaveringly on
the oblivious young woman. The churning
of her insides was painful as turbulent emotions filled her with a mixture of
elation and fear. When Andrea was
halfway to the kitchen she brought the towel down, immediately spotting Kate
and stopping in her tracks.
Their eyes locked
across the small room, the piercing blue eyes upon Kate causing another
alarming flip in her stomach. Kate thought
she saw the briefest flash of happiness on Andrea’s face before the hard,
impenetrable mask slammed down.
“What do you
want?” asked Andrea cooly, continuing to dry off the ends of her damp blond
hair.
Kate swallowed
nervously in the face of Andrea’s icy demeanour. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“You were, were
you? I thought I made it clear five
days ago that I didn’t want to see you anymore, let alone speak to you?”
“I know you said
that, but I hoped you might have calmed down a bit since then.”
Kate knew it was
the wrong thing to say as soon as the words had slipped past her lips. She’d practiced what she was going to say
over and over on the train down to London but she hadn’t been prepared for
seeing Andrea then and there. Now, when
faced with the other woman and all the conflicting emotions she evoked, all
those carefully planned words seemed to have deserted her.
“Calmed down?”
repeated Andrea, “You really think I ought to be calm when someone has betrayed
me?”
“No, of course
not…”
“Well, obviously
you do.”
“Sorry, that was
a bad choice of words,” said Kate contritely, “Perhaps I should start again?”
“If you must,”
said Andrea dismissively, continuing on to the kitchen and joining Meg on the
far side of the counter.
Kate took a few
deep breaths, feeling about as welcome in the flat as a hooker at a church tea
party. “Could we talk alone?” she asked
Andrea, flicking a look at Meg.
“Anything you
have to say you can say in front of Meg,” replied Andrea with an edge of
challenge in the tone.
Kate could
already tell that any plans for how this conversation might go had flown right
out of the window. She was floundering
badly already, and she hadn’t even got to what she really wanted to say yet. And now she was going to have to confess her
innermost feelings in front of a virtual stranger. She supposed this was all some sort of way for Andrea to punish
her, or possibly a test. Either way,
she wasn’t going to shy away from what could be her only chance.
Gathering
herself, Kate tried to begin again. “I
just wanted to apologise for not telling you about Dixon sooner. I realise now that I shouldn’t have let the
Colonel sway me into thinking it was in your best interests to keep it from
you. I should have trusted you with the
information, and I can only repeat how sorry I am that I hurt you by not doing
that. I love you, Andrea. It wasn’t my intention to deceive you, I
only wanted to protect you.”
Andrea made a
small scoffing noise at the back of her throat, Kate starting to get a decidedly
sinking feeling. Fighting against the
butterflies flapping uncomfortably in her stomach she pressed on.
“I know right now
you’re angry and you have every right to be, but I’m hoping that one day you
might be able to forgive me.” Kate took
another slow breath, trying desperately to make her words count, put all her
emotion into them. “I need you,
Andrea,” she said emphatically, “You are the most important thing in the world
to me.”
Andrea’s eyes
narrowed. “More important than your
career, more important than the army?”
“Yes, more
important than any of those things,” Kate replied immediately and
earnestly. “They don’t matter when
faced with the prospect of losing you.
I’d give them up in an instant if it meant I could have you back.”
Kate was giving
it her all, but all she was being met with was indifference. She could tell she was fighting a losing
battle and for once she didn’t know how to turn it around.
“Is that it?”
asked Andrea, her voice flat and unemotional.
“Not completely,”
replied Kate, starting to become resigned to the fact that she wasn’t getting
anywhere, “I also wanted to see how you
are, check that you’re all right. Even
if you can’t forgive me, I’ll never stop caring about you.”
“Well, as you can
see, I’m fine here,” said Andrea, moving closer to Meg who looked a bit
perplexed. “Aren’t I, darling?”
As Andrea reached
out and put her arm round the smaller woman’s shoulders, Kate felt like someone
was reaching in and twisting her insides in ways they weren’t meant to go. When Andrea followed it up with a light kiss
on Meg’s lips, it was like those innards had been ripped right out of her
stomach and were trailing across the carpeted floor. Kate could only stare in horror as Andrea turned back to look at
her, a smug smile on her face.
“So is that all
you came to say?”
Kate’s voice
seemed to have escaped her for a moment.
“If it is then I
guess it’s goodbye, unless you’re now going to tell me you’ve brought the
troops with you and are hauling me back to the base?”
“No, I’m on my
own,” managed Kate, “I haven’t told
anyone where you are.”
“And are you
going to?”
“That’s hardly
likely, given my present situation.”
“Oh dear, were
you in trouble because I left?” remarked Andrea nastily, “That is quite careless of you, managing to
lose two of your operatives in one year, and after sleeping with them both.”
Kate ignored the
stinging comments, though they hurt like hell.
It was obvious now that it was hopeless. Not only did it seem like Andrea hated her, but also it looked
like she had already found someone else to comfort her. Kate wasn’t yet at the stage where she was
going to get down on her hands and knees and beg, though she wasn’t far
off. The main thing stopping her was
the realisation that it would do her no good, beyond making her look even more
of a fool than she did already.
“I’ll be going
then,” she said evenly, though inside her heart was screaming at her not to
turn for the door. “I brought these for
you,” she added, taking a couple of boxes out of her bag and placing them on
the dining table. “They’re refills for
your regulator, in case you need to use your powers.”
Andrea only
stared blankly back at her, not even deigning to thank her.
Kate walked
slowly for the door, each jarring step jabbing correspondingly at her
heart. She could already feel the tears
threatening, swallowing while her back was to Andrea in order hold them down
until she got outside. When her hand
was on the door handle she knew was there was no going back, that she could
prolong her departure no longer. Taking
a final deep breath, she looked over her shoulder.
Andrea was still
standing with her arm slung across Meg’s shoulders, an impassive look on her
face.
“Goodbye,
Andrea.”
For a moment she
thought Andrea wasn’t even going to respond to that before she offered a gruff,
corresponding farewell. Kate held her
gaze, longingly searching for something in those pale blue eyes, something that
would tell her that there was even the faintest of hopes.
It felt like
there were too many things left unsaid, countless regrets and recriminations
piled up in that weighty silence that stretched on between them. She couldn’t speak them though, knowing in
that instant that it was all too late.
All she saw in Andrea’s eyes was emptiness.
With a painful,
tearing in her chest she turned and left the flat.
……………..
Andrea watched
the door closing, suddenly finding Meg shaking off her arm and crossing huffily
to the sofa.
“What the fuck
was all that?” she said, flopping down onto it and shooting an annoyed look at
Andrea “‘I’m fine here, aren’t I,
darling’?” she said, parroting Andrea’s words.
“I don’t know
what you mean,” said Andrea, pulling out a mug to make herself a cup of tea.
“Bollocks! You knew exactly what you were doing, making
her mistakenly think there was something going on between me and you, as if you
wandering around my flat in next to nothing wouldn’t already have given her
that false impression anyway. I don’t
want to be a pawn in some stupid jealousy game you’re playing.”
Andrea slammed
the mug down on the counter. “I’m not
having her turning up here, she said angrily, jabbing her finger at the door,
Thinking she can make everything all right with a few trite words!”
“Oh no,” cried
Meg, her voice rising too, “Far be it for you to actually listen to what she
had to say! Much better that you stick
to your guns, give her the cold shoulder.”
“Right!”
“And did that
make you feel better?” queried Meg scathingly, “Along with that ridiculous
show?”
“Yes!”
“And really?”
Andrea sighed,
leaning onto the counter. “No.”
Leaving the
half-made tea, Andrea moved round to join Meg on the sofa, running her hands
through her still damp hair as she sighed again, ruefully shaking her head but
not saying anything further. She
couldn’t believe it when she had stepped out of the bathroom to see Kate right
there in the living area. Her first
instinct had been to go to her, wrap her arms around her and hold on so she
never lost her again; the urge amazingly powerful despite all that had happened. But Andrea couldn’t forget those things that
had happened, and she had quickly thrown up her defensive walls instead.
“Why are you
doing this to yourself, Andi?” pressed Meg,
Andrea didn’t
answer, wondering that herself. If she
was doing the right thing then why did she feel so bloody crap about it?
“When you first
turned up here the other day I can’t say that I wasn’t pleased,” Meg added,
“Deep down I think I’d been clinging onto the idea that we might get back
together.”
Meg quickly held
up her hand as Andrea went to interject
“If you’ll let me
finish,” she instructed. “I know you
told me it was over, many times, but I still couldn’t help fostering this tiny
glimmer of hope, thinking that I might still have a chance. Then I heard you talking about Kate and I
knew straight away that I didn’t. Even
though your words were coloured by anger and hurt and pain I could tell from
the way you spoke that you loved her.
Despite the harshness of the actual words, the emotions behind them were
more intense then anything I’ve ever seen from you. Certainly more intense than anything you might have ever felt for
me. And it’s obvious to me now, after
seeing her here, that you’re still in love with her. Why don’t you give her a chance?”
“I did that before,”
bemoaned Andrea, “And look where it got me!”
“I think she’s
sincerely sorry,” Meg suggested. “She
did come all the way down here to try and talk to you, most likely knowing the
sort of reception she was going to receive.”
“And she deserved
it!”
“Jesus! I bet
it’s great in your world knowing you’re on that high moral ground, though isn’t
it a bit lonely all the way up there?”
“So what am I
supposed to do?” asked Andrea plaintively, looking to Meg for guidance,
“Forgive her, tell her it’s all right that she lied to me, betrayed my trust?”
Meg
shrugged. “You could try. Love isn’t all about rose petals and good
times, sometimes we have to take the rough with the smooth. What is it you want to do, deep down in your
heart? Put aside all your anger for a
moment, which I know is no small feat where you’re concerned, and think about
that. Because if you deny what your
heart’s telling you, you’re just going to be miserable.”
Andrea stared
back at Meg. What do I want to do?
she repeated to herself. She could
delude herself with anger and fury as much as she wanted, but in her heart of
hearts she knew the answer without even having to think about it.
Suddenly there
was a knock at the door and the leaping in her heart confirmed what Andrea had
already deduced. She vaulted over the
sofa, quickly yanking open the door.
The sight of the woman standing on the doorstep was almost enough to
knock her right off her feet with shock.
It wasn’t Kate at all. This
woman had blond hair and startling blue eyes. She was practically a mirror image of Andrea, only about thirty
years older.
“Mother?”
“Andrea.”
Andrea stepped
aside to allow her mother to enter the flat, the elegant woman sweeping past in
her usual commanding way. At least
Andrea assumed it was still usual, since she obviously hadn’t seen the other
woman for five years. She hadn’t
changed much Andrea quickly noted. A
few extra lines about the face, maybe, but she still looked as serenely
beautiful as ever, wearing an elegant cream suit.
“Hello, Dr
Hallstrom,” said Meg, spying their visitor and clambering to her feet.
“Bloody hell,
Meg, you don’t have to keep calling her that you know,” said Andrea rolling her
eyes, “Though I’m sure she loves the superior feeling it gives her,” she added
shooting her mother a quick glance to see if her barb had hit home. “We’re not little kids, you can call her
Erin.”
Meg looked
uncertainly at Andrea’s mother. “I
think I’ll stick with Dr Hallstrom,” she said, seeing the frosty look she was
receiving. “I’ll leave you to it,” she
added, heading swiftly for the bedroom.
Andrea watched
her mother walking aloofly round the room as if silently assessing it. The look on her face suggested she didn’t
approve, but then again she didn’t tend to approve of much where Andrea was
concerned. Part of Andrea wanted to get
rid of her as quickly as possible so she could run after Kate – maybe she could
catch her before she got too far.
However, she supposed it was only polite to find out why her mother had
turned up on her doorstep after so long.
“What are you
doing here, mother?”
“Meg called me.”
Andrea’s mother
spoke in precise, clipped tones. Every
word was delivered in a measured English accent, belying her Swedish
origins. But of course it wouldn’t be
seemly to speak with a foreign accent of any kind recalled Andrea. She remembered how aghast her parents had
been when she had feigned a Birmingham accent for a time in a bout of teenage
rebellion. Andrea had eventually gotten
tired of forcing out all the nasal sounds, switching back to her normal plain
English accent. At least she hoped it
was plain, sincerely hoping she didn’t sound as awfully posh as her mother did
when she spoke.
“Right, and you
just came running?” replied Andrea scornfully, “You haven’t spoken to me in
five years and then suddenly here you are?”
“From what Meg
said you’ve been having a difficult time of things recently. You’re no longer in the police force I
understand?”
“No, I’m not, so
you can stop being embarassed on that account.
However, I’m afraid I have to tell you I’m still a lesbian.”
Andrea could see
the small wince at her bluntness, deducing that fact still had the power to
cause her mother discomfort. She
wondered how it would go down if she also revealed that she was a mutant with
superhuman powers. Then again, that
would probably be preferable to the dreaded ‘lesbian’ in her mother’s eyes.
“Do you have to
sound so proud when you say that?”
“Yes I do,”
stated Andrea unrepetantly, “I see you haven’t changed then. If you’ve just come here to tell me how
ashamed you are then you can just turn right back around again, because I
really don’t need that kind of ‘support’.”
Her mother held a
single, well-manicured hand. “I’m
sorry, old habits die hard,” she said apologetically, “We really have been
worried about you these five years.”
Andrea tipped her
head to the side, regarding her mother sceptically. “You were so worried you never called once?”
“Would it have
been welcome?”
Andrea didn’t
answer, thinking that maybe her mother had a point – she would have gotten a
similar frosty reception as she was receiving now.
Undeterred, her
mother continued on. “I’m not offering
any excuses for what happened in the past, and I’m not saying I’m entirely
comfortable with your…life choices, but if you do need us, or you just want to
talk, then we are here for you, your father and I.”
Andrea could
almost be convinced by the sincerity, yet there was something in it that didn’t
quite ring true. She didn’t know what
her mother’s motives were, but she sensed the was an alterior one beyond the
simple olive branch she appeared to be extending.
“How is father?”
she asked, still unable to resist the tiny inkling of hope her mother’s
surprise appearance gave her.
“He’s well,
wrapped up in his work as always,” noted her mother with a touch of humour.
“I’m surprised
you could drag yourself away to come and see me,” replied Andrea
caustically. Old habits died hard for
her too, and the recollection of far too many lonely days and nights when her
parents were busy with their research coloured her tone now.
“I thought maybe
you might need me.”
“You mean I’m
more important than the great Dr Hallstrom’s work? I should be honoured!”
“My work is
important, maybe one day you’ll understand just how important,” remarked
Andrea’s mother, “But that doesn’t mean you’re not important to me too. I know that we weren’t perhaps the best
parents in the world, but we always wanted what was best for you. I’m sorry if we didn’t always devote us much
time to you as we should have done, but we’d like to rectify that if you give
us the chance.”
Her mother was
saying all the right things, all the things that Andrea had probably secretly
hoped she would one day, and yet deep down she felt uneasy. Perhaps it was just that since she’d spent
the past five years allowing her anger towards her parents to build, that to
have her mother here now basically apologising for everything was far too
incongruous.
“You want me to
give you a chance after you’ve ignored me for five years, having made me feel
like I was never good enough to live up to your high standards before that?”
“Yes,” replied
her mother simply.
Andrea shook her
head at her mother’s incredible degree of arrogance. “I’ll think about it,” she replied.
“That’s all I ask,”
said her mother with a tiny dip of the head, turning to go, “You know where we
are.”
It only took a
few seconds after her departure for Meg to reappear, Andrea swiftly rounding on
her.
“Why on earth did
you call her of all people?” she demanded, “You two never got along,
probably because you were one of ‘those sort’”
“I just thought
that now might be a good time to try and make up with your parents,” Meg tried
to explain, “Isn’t five years a bit of a long time to hold a grudge? I thought there was nothing to lose, and she
was actually surprisingly pleasant on the phone once I got on to the fact that
I was calling about you.”
“Really?” said
Andrea doubtfully.
“She came didn’t
she?” offered Meg, “So what did she have to say?”
“That she’s ‘here
for me’ if I need her.”
“That’s good
isn’t it?”
“I suppose.”
“It seems this
really is a day for apologies,” noted Meg, “So have you decided what you’re
going to do about Kate?”
“I’ll go speak to
her,” answered Andrea, “I’m not promising anything, but at least I can hear her
out.”
In fact she
already knew that whatever it was Kate had to say, she was going to forgive
her. She wasn’t about to admit that
weakness to Meg though, and she certainly wasn’t going to tell Kate that until
she had made her grovel good and proper.
“I do have this
meeting with my informant first, but then I’ll catch the next train up to
Scotland.”
“I think you’re
making the right decision,” Meg said, “So what’s this meeting you’ve got?”
“You know I’ve
been doing a bit of digging into the warehouse accident myself in the few days
I’ve been here, catching up with a few old colleagues and informants,” outlined
Andrea gesturing to the pile of papers on the coffee table. She had needed something to keep her mind
occupied and that had seemed like the perfect thing. “Well, one of them thinks he might have a lead on Cowley…Dixon,
whatever he likes to call himself.”
“You just be
careful, I don’t like the sound of this guy.”
………………
Andrea dug her
hands into the pockets of her jacket, pacing nervously across the concrete of
the underground car park as she waited for her informant to show up. It was cold and damp in the dim light, a
stark contrast to the warm summer’s day outside. The overriding smell of urine pervaded the stale air, Andrea
wondering why Jimmy always insisted on picking such grim locations for their
meetings. Perhaps he thought that it
was a requirement of the police officer and grass dynamic – no meetings in
pleasant surroundings allowed. Why they
couldn’t just share a nice cup of tea in a café somewhere she didn’t know. A splash followed by an uncomfortable wet
sensation in her sock made her let out a curse as she surveyed the dampness
evident along the bottom of her jeans from the puddle.
This was just
typical of Jimmy, she considered in annoyance, as late as ever. Despite her internal grumbling, it was
comforting in a way to know that some things never changed. Other things, though, couldn’t be more
different.
Where once she
would have relished this, patroling the urban streets using her intelligence
and wits to outsmart criminals, now she couldn’t wait to get her information
and get out of the dank hole. She’d
always thought of herself as a city girl - an urban dweller through and
through. She’d liked the constant
hustle and bustle of London, that sense of perpetual activity generated by the
diverse and ever-chaging people who lived there. Not to mention the fact that you could get a packet of malteasers
at three in the morning if you needed to.
However, all she could think now was that the miserable car park was a
long way from Duransay. She’d never
imagined that she’d ever miss a small, wet island somewhere off the coast of
Scotland, yet here she was having an urgent desire to go back there.
Andrea knew it wasn’t
really the island so much that was exerting the pull on her heart, but more who
she knew was waiting there for her. She
had to admit that though it filled her with no small degree of trepidation, she
was also excited at the prospect of seeing Kate again. Her appearance at the flat had made Andrea
realise that she was fooling herself if she thought she could easily forget
Kate and what they shared. It still
hurt, what Kate had done, but what was more pronounced was the aching
loneliness she felt without her.
The sound of
footsteps broke her out of her reverie, Andrea swinging round, ready to give
Jimmy a mouthful for being tardy since that was part of the routine too. When she saw who was approaching her, her
well-practiced words died on her tongue.
“Chadwick?” she
spat in a mixture of shock and distaste, “What the fuck are you doing
here? Where’s Jimmy?”
Chadwick came to
a halt at a discrete distance, no doubt aware that he wasn’t going to get the
drop on her a second time and that she could crush his skull if she was so
inclined. It took a moment for Andrea
to realise what it was about his appearance that she found so incongruous – he
was out of uniform, wearing a pair of dark trousers with a plain light-blue
shirt hanging loosely over the top of them.
“I’m afraid your
friend couldn’t make it,” he noted snidely.
“What did you do
to him?” demanded Andrea, fighting down the irrational prickle of anxiety
seeing the burly lieutenant illicited.
“He’d served his
purpose, feeding the appropriate information to you,” replied Chadwick with a
dismissive wave of the hand, “After that we no longer needed him.”
“We? You mean you
and Dixon, or is there anyone else involved in this little setup?”
Chadwick paced
around her, Andrea following him the whole way, fists balled, ready to
strike. “You would be surprised just
how far reaching our organisation is,” he commented.
Andrea didn’t
like the sound of that, that Dixon and Chadwick could be part of something much
larger. “How long have you been in
league with him?” she asked, still maintaining a cautious watch of the man,
“Was it you and him together who stitched Kate up the first time? Did you think that would get you her job?”
Chadwick laughed
evilly, the sound reverberating round the concrete walls. “We had hoped it might. It was only because she’s friends with that
old fool Parsons that she got away with it.
Just like she got away with Afghanistan.”
“You have one
hell of a selective memory! In case
you’d forgotten she actually saved your life, though god knows why.”
Chadwick glowered
back at her, but didn’t come any closer.
“So after Dixon
got booted off the island, you hung around feeding him information still did
you?” deduced Andrea.
“Indeed, no one
knew of my connection to him, just as no one knew my part in that sabotage
until you started sticking your nose in.”
“There was more
to that than you first intimated then I bet,” posited Andrea.
“What I told you
before was some of the truth – I did want to cause enough trouble for Major
Jarvis to get her job. However, my
motivations weren’t purely personal.
Our organisation had an interest in getting someone in at the top,
allowing them access to highly classifed information regarding superhuman
research. You spoilt all that, though –
my superiors weren’t too happy with me.”
“And this is your
way of getting back in their good books?” asked Andrea doubtfully, “What is it
you want, Chadwick?”
“We want you.”
The splash in the
puddle alerted her to a presence behind her an instant before Andrea felt a
sharp pain in her arm. The effect was
immediate and paralysing, sending her crashing to the hard concrete in a
heap. She got the vague impression of a
shadowy figure looming over her before darkness came.