VC Valentine’s Day Letters
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Letter 1 – by Sazzy
Dear Seven,
You may be wondering why I am engaging you in this ancient form of communication, but if you read on hopefully all will become clear. I have chosen to write to you because I singularly failed to speak with you at the recent Starfleet Ball. I have to admit I was surprised and not a little thrown to see you there. I realise my behaviour that evening was abrupt and offhand and for that I would like to apologise.
The way I behaved has nothing to do with you, at least not directly. Instead it was all down to my own demons. For some time there has been something that has weighed heavy on both my heart and mind. Many times I have thought of speaking to you about it and every time I have lost the courage of my convictions, just as I did the other night. Therefore, I have decided to put it in writing. I do this not because I expect anything of you, but more so I can finally express it in the hope of moving on with my life back on Earth. As it is I can not stop thinking about it, thinking about you.
I think it started about four years ago, not long after you came on board Voyager. To begin I thought that my interest in you was simply because you intrigued me and that I saw you as some sort of pet project – the Borg who I could instruct in the ways of humanity. But it wasn’t long before I realised it was so much more than that. The final confirmation was when you went back to the Borg. Leaving you on that Borg sphere was like leaving a part of my own soul. Even now I can still recall the look in your eyes as you told me to “Go!” and the corresponding churning in my own stomach as I ran up that corridor. Forcing myself round that final corner is perhaps the hardest thing I have done in my life. During the time you were away it felt as if a part of me was missing, that my heart was torn asunder. That is why I came after you. Not because of some rule about not leaving crew members behind, but because I needed you, because I loved you.
So there it is, I’ve finally said it, or at least typed it – I love you.
I should have told you this a long time ago, while I still had a chance of doing something about it. As it is I realise you have given your heart to another and I respect that. As I said before I do not expect anything of you, I just needed to tell you this so you might understand what has driven me the last few years. But you need not fear of any further unwanted letters or attention on my part. After this I will not mention it again. If I can give you nothing else, then at least I know I have given you the truth.
Always yours,
Kathryn.
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Letter 2 – by MsRadley
Dear Kathryn,
I hope that my research into this ancient form of communication has been thorough enough to facilitate an acceptable reply to your letter.
I must admit that receiving this letter was enlightening and although I find it an entirely inefficient method of communication I somehow enjoy reading its contents many times over, despite the fact that every word is recorded within my cortical node.
Your behaviour at the Starfleet Ball was perplexing; I feared that I had disappointed you in some way that I did not understand. I experienced sadness and confusion; sensations I have discovered that I do not enjoy at all. However your explanation of the situation improves my understanding of your recent behaviour and I accept your apology.
As you will be aware I do not enjoy social situations and I am even less fond of large crowds. I only attended the event to see you again. Our recent distance has been unsettling and I had hoped to regain the friendship we had while on Voyager.
I feel it is imperative to inform you that Commander Chakotay and I remain nothing more than friends. Shortly upon returning to Earth we realised that our relationship was to remain purely platonic and he accompanied me to the Starfleet Ball in the capacity of a friend and nothing more.
Since being disconnected from the Borg I have always looked to you as my guide, your opinion has been of great importance to me and I miss the closeness we shared. The Doctor has recommended that I spend time sleeping as well as regenerating but I am unable to sleep. I simply lie awake and think of you. I recall the way you taught me what it is to be human, for better and for worse. Sometimes I wish we could have remained aboard Voyager, life seemed simpler then.
It is not acceptable for this dissociation to continue. I do not wish for this communication to end. I understand that I still have much to learn in the ways of humanity and especially the ways of love. I used to know someone who characterized the perfect teacher; I hope that she becomes available again soon.
Hopefully,
Seven of Nine.
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Letter 3 – by MercyCroft
Dear Seven,
Firstly – thank you. Thank you for replying to my letter. For overlooking the shortcomings of this ancient form of communication and composing a beautiful letter, that made me smile more than I have in the seven long months since we’ve returned home.
It took me a while to admit it to myself, but I’m not adjusting well to life back on Earth. It’s not because of the anti-climax after years of excitement and battle on Voyager. It’s not because I feel at a loose end after working for so many years towards one goal, only to achieve it unexpectedly and spectacularly long before I’d ever imagined I would. It’s purely and simply because I’m lonely. It’s such an alien feeling to me. I’ve always thrived on independence, relished my personal space. When I allowed other people into my home and my bed, they crowded me. Now I find myself craving the presence of others. Of one other.
But back to your letter.
Your communication contained many surprises, not least the fact that you still think of me often. You won’t believe how wonderful that makes me feel. To know that when I sit at my desk at Starfleet, curl on my sofa watching newsfeeds, lie in my bath or my bed, thinking of you, that you might also be thinking of me. Perhaps I’ve revealed too much about the extent to which you invade my thoughts. I hope not.
The largest surprise is your separation from Chakotay. I’ll admit that I am relieved to hear it, and not entirely for selfish reasons. I had the impression that you were trying to live up to someone’s expectations by initiating that romance. I do hope not my expectations. And though you and he made an attractive couple, there was something about your affiliation that made me uneasy. Jealous, of course, too. Wildly jealous.
Why do I find it easier to write these things to you than I would to say them? Would I ever have told you, if I hadn’t decided to write to you?
I’ve deleted most of this letter, and then re-pasted it, five times in the past ten minutes. I’m beginning to feel silly and in-decisive. I don’t want to frighten or confuse you by revealing the depths of my feelings for you. I know that you are still adjusting to the mad avalanches of emotion that human beings tend to unsettle around each other. But I also know that you are learning quickly, and that I need to be entirely candid. I’ve kept too much to myself for too long, and it’s made me so unhappy. I’m taking a shot at laying my heart out.
Of course I am available to you. Any time you need. For anything.
Your letter made me dare hope that you are receptive to the idea of exploring your feelings towards me.
I’d like that.
Yours with great affection,
Kathryn
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Letter 4 – by EwigeStudentin
Dear Kathryn,
Thank you for your letter and for your honesty. It’s been so long since you had allowed me a glance behind the captain’s mask.
I’m sorry that my involvement with Commander Chakotay has caused you such distress. I’ve been analysing the reasons for my misjudgement – I realised too late that engaging him in after duty activities was obviously a failure. Originally I blamed it on my lacking experience in socialising, but I had to reconsider it upon receiving your last letter.
When I look back on the beginning of this year, I see myself lonely, too. It’s incontestable that I had gained friends like Naomi, or the Doctor, and had received more responsibilities, but I remember an unclear feeling that had nagged me. I recognise this feeling now. I had been missing one particular person.
This person had always had an open ear for me and we had engaged in holodeck activities together, but I was keenly aware of this person’s excessive responsibility and hadn’t wanted my unsettled feelings to interfere with this person’s duty.
There was no other crew member on board Voyager who could substitute this person for me, and I would never accept any substitute. Instead, I had tried to befriend somebody else who was professionally particularly close to this person. In the hours we had spent together we had only been talking about you. In this way I was able to feel closer to you. Yes, this person I had been missing was you, Kathryn.
I was surprised when I had realised that the commander had developed romantic feelings for me. However, now I see clearly why my interest in him vanished right after we had left Voyager. I hope you see that it had always been about you and it’s illogical for you to be jealous. Although I have to admit that I experience a strange satisfaction of arousing such feelings in you. I am sorry. I wished I could make you feel better.
I can empathise your need for closeness. Since your first letter, I notice a continuous reduction of my efficiency. I catch myself observing my desktop, waiting for it to beep with the incoming message from you. I imagine what you would write me next and what I would answer you. In the night I stare at the ceiling, engrossed in the memories. Every one of our discussion, every glance you caught of me, and every time you touched me – it is all in my cortical node.
Your letters make the emotions I’ve been experiencing on board Voyager overwhelm me again. I require to see you. I need to see you and explore my feelings for you. Unfortunately my duty demands my attendance on Bajor. I am a part of the team that will enhance the MIDAS Array – you certainly have seen the reports. I attach the mission schedule to this message in hope that your next letter will find me without difficulties.
Yours,
Seven
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Letter 5 – by Taoduck
My dear Seven,
Thank you so much for gifting me with another lovely letter.
It's funny. I know I can press a button, issue an order and a video link to you would appear like magic. I wouldn't even need to give a reason... I'd just say I wanted it and it would happen. I'm an Admiral. I can do that. There are teams of officers around here who exist solely to turn my whims into reality. You should see what lengths they go to just for my coffee.
But I don't want that. It wouldn't be enough.
I need to see you as well. In person. Up close. Knowing you think of me as often as I think of you has sent my heart surging down pathways I've locked and barred for years. Exploring them requires seeing you... touching you... holding you... everything I dearly wanted to do on Voyager but couldn't find the courage. Now, knowing what I know, seeing you without being able to truly connect with you would be torturous.
I want nothing more than to drop everything, commandeer a ship
and fly to you, but I just cannot leave Earth right now. My division has been
monitoring the governmental crisis on
I had no idea you missed me on Voyager, certainly not as much as you say. I missed you, too, you know. You were growing so quickly. It seemed like you were becoming more and more comfortable with yourself and your humanity every day, so much more confident and adept. What is a guide when one finally learns their way? Useless. That's how I felt. Old, useless, tired... and so much in love that I couldn't deal with it. I suppose I withdrew from you, because I began to feel as if you no longer needed me.
Now, I find myself imagining the future... something I haven't done since well before we returned. I dream of our next meeting. How you'll look. What you'll say. Will your eyes smile in that wonderful way that lights up your whole face? What will it be like to finally hold you close? To touch you? To... kiss you? What an adventure it will be to explore these feelings with you.
Bajor.
Almost eight years ago, an amazing adventure began near there.
Dare I hope that lightning will strike twice?
I can't wait to find out.
Yours always,
Kathryn
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Letter 6 – by Gorms
Dear Kathryn
I again thank you for your
prompt reply and your wonderful letter. I cannot adequately explain the extent
of its importance to me.
Reading it for the first time,
I experienced moments of shock and great amazement. There were times when the
idea of reading on to the next paragraph seemed terrifying, as though I were
teetering over a precipice. My respiration became erratic and my hands shook. I
could easily imagine your voice saying each of those words and those images
held great power. Forgive me for my clumsiness with words, but I am following
the compulsion to reply without delay; to capture these strange feelings you inspire.
How can you say that we have
not fully connected? I have never felt as close to another person as I do to
you. The intimacy that these letters have come to afford us is greater than any
other I have shared and one I value above all others. When you and I stood face
to face, or sat shoulder to shoulder, we did not share these parts of ourselves.
We kept parts of ourselves hidden despite our desire to bare all.
But now, with tens of millions
of kilometers and billions of other individuals between you and I, we share our
thoughts. Across all these light years, it is only your voice that matters. It
is only your mind that I wish to know. The words in your previous letter were
frightening and exciting. The power you hold over me with a few short sentences
has humbled me and I am filled with things I wish to tell you.
I do not wish to hide any
longer; to keep any part of myself from you. But how can something as fleeting
and as transient as touch, even shared kisses, be more than what we have now? I
cannot bear to imagine such a future, for I run the risk of once again placing
you ‘upon a pedestal’. I placed Captain Janeway upon such a structure and it
was only by these letters that I was able to lift Kathryn gently down. Tell me,
please, how these desires we feel can be shared without losing what we have
gained.
I am sorry for these vague and
strange thoughts, but it has been a ‘long day’ and I find myself restless
though weary. I find impulses crowd my mind; to scream, to run, to strike my
console. I do not act on them but they weigh on me. On Voyager, I would have
gone to you, to talk or play Velocity and they would calm. I found order in my
thoughts around you. I found my own voice again, around you.
You say that I have grown but
that is only because of what you have taught me. After much thought on the
subject, ruminating endlessly on our encounters, I have come to see how you
achieved this. Or, rather, I have come to think of the process in a certain
way. You did not return to me my humanity, but you demonstrated I had always
held it. It was a cumbersome weight on me for a great length of time but you
showed me the correct way to hold this weight. How to proudly bear this burden
of my own humanity. I can never thank you enough for that. If I seemed to have
moved past the need for guidance, it was only because I was able to walk with
confidence beneath this weight.
However, since you have now
invited me to explore new parts of my existence, you must now help me. I am
once again your pupil, a most willing student this time. But I am scared;
conflicted with the desires to fly to you and to stay here, exchanging these
letters for the rest of our lives. I feel as though you and I could achieve
perfection, Kathryn, but I am not sure how.
Yours with great affection,
Seven
P.S.: Do your minions go to
greater length to get your coffee than you, yourself, did in the Delta
Quadrant?
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Letter 7 – by aerialsky
Dearest Seven
Oh, I've missed you so
much! I know I have said so already, but
every time I read one of your letters I remember just how much. I do so miss your unique sense of humour. If some young cadet should come in right now,
they'd see their commanding Officer with a grin on her face quite unbecoming of
an Starfleet Admiral, particularly one who is supposedly filling out
Departmental Reports.
As for my minions, well there
are Ensigns running around here who seem to be barely out of their teens - the
Academy does seem to be churning them out quickly these days. I can't fault them on efficiency though – I
think even you'd be impressed. There's
not a good conversation to be had with one of them though. Poor things, I think I frighten them half to
death if I even ask how their day went – you'd think I was asking them to
recite a brief history of Quantum Mechanics. Little do they know I like a bit
of banter. What I wouldn't give to have you stride in here and disagree with me
or comment on my inefficient behaviour.
I never did tell you how much I enjoyed that did I? It's just a shame my dealings lay firmly in
the paperwork department these days.
Though perhaps you could chastise me for the disorganised state of my
desk…
I find the honesty of your
letters beautiful and breath-taking.
What you must remember is we all find it difficult to articulate our
inner most feelings. Your words are far
from clumsy. In fact, they affect me so
profoundly; they fill me with such joy.
You really underestimate how your honesty conveys such emotional depths
– it is truly beautiful.
You say you are my pupil, but
do you know how much you taught me Seven?
How much you challenged and helped me grow as a person too? I was just as lost as you were in some
respects. I was nurturing a fear deep
inside: a fear of letting people get too close.
You have said that you still find human customs difficult to comprehend
but so many times on Voyager, you came to me and showed me the way. You pleaded with me to recognise the Doctor's
right to sentience when all I could see were algorithms in need of repair. Even from the first day you were severed from
the Collective, I saw the humanity in you.
The fear and anger you kept so close to the surface were so alive and so
very human. I knew then that the full
force of your humanity was in you, only waiting to emerge. I knew it would be a difficult path but one
you had to follow. Having said that, I
can't tell you how happy I was the day you relinquished that anger and embraced
your human desire to grow.
I couldn't begin to imagine
how your assimilation affected you but I knew what it was like to feel like
your humanity had been ripped away – the day my father and Justin died is a day
I'll never forget. It has shaped me, it
torments me still but in a strange way, I wouldn't change the past. Perhaps you feel the same?
One thing I would change,
however, is our parting upon returning to Earth. One of my biggest regrets is letting one of
the most poignant moments of my life slip away.
I am talking of the conversation we shared in Astrometrics as your
cortical node was failing. I effectively
promised to take you home with me, in that oblique way we would talk to each
other on Voyager, but ended up letting you leave in the arms of another. God, I was such a fool!
There's nothing I want more
now than to take you home, walk through the corn fields, go to the Grand
Canyon, do anything and go anywhere you want.
I so want to see the wonders Earth has to offer through your eyes, as if
anew. I walk by my favourite little café
and wonder if you have developed a taste for coffee or whether you still
crinkle your nose in that adorable way you used to. As I walk past the markets I wonder if you
still like to cook like you did for us as we traversed the Void. I'll never forget how you gave Tom a dressing
down over that salt. Oh, I was laughing so hard. And then there was you in Neelix's apron, who
knew that garish apron could be so sexy?
I purposely walk by the grocery stalls every day on my way home from
work. The vivid colours of the fresh
market produce used to remind me of home in Indiana; now they remind me of
you. I guess that's appropriate. You are, after all, my heart's home.
I so look forward to seeing
you again and we will see each other again Seven. I will treasure these letters for the rest of
my life but they will pale in comparison to finally holding you in my arms. I never want to hold back again. You are so important to me Seven, I can't
imagine my life with you not in it. I
love you so much.
As for achieving perfection –
simply knowing you love me too is good enough for me.
With all of my heart,
Kathryn.
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Letter 8 – by
SwedenTrekkie
Dear Kathryn,
Holding your last letter in
my hand and reading it over and over again seems to be the only way to maintain
my mental health at the moment. Your warm words and your confidence in our
possible future together guide me through each single minute on this remote
planet.
The MIDAS project has turned
out to be a disastrous failure and I don’t know how much longer we can continue
our research and tests. I strongly object to putting the blame on individuals
for their mistakes as it appears to me as an inefficient use of time, but
someone apparently miscalculated some essential environmental data and as a
result of this mistake the research team has been exposed to highly dangerous
radiation. Being the leader of this project I feel the responsibilty and even
worse, the guilt, that some members of the team have come to harm when I should
have ensured their safety. There is no positive aspect or element of
consolation to the fact that I have been affected by the radiation myself
because my need for medical treatment only slows down the whole project when I
should be functioning within normal parameters, doing my duty. Most of all I
feel ashamed that my nanoprobes accelerate my healing process whereas the rest
of the crew suffers. The only
consolation is that they will all recover with treatment.
At least I can now understand
how you must have felt all these years as a Starfleet Captain. The burden of
responsibility and worries for the welfare of your crew must have weighed
terribly on your shoulders. Why didn’t I see that more often those days?
Instead of judging you for your erratic behaviour, what you call ‘grumpy
moods’, I should have used my logical skills to come to the conclusion that you
might have needed someone to carry you and offered you my support.
Well, I think I may have felt
the urge to do so, to simply give you a reassuring hug or touch your shoulder
like you sometimes did to me, but I considered it inappropriate at the
time. And then I couldn’t see the the
logical effect of a gesture of affection since it would not have contributed to
a direct solution of an actual problem. But eventually I started to understand
why another person’s physical proximity can indeed help to cope with difficult
circumstances. Right now, I so much wish you were here to take me in your arms
and hold me close to you. The loneliness inside of me is more painful than any
physical wound could ever be. I long for your tender embrace, your loving gaze
resting on me and telling me that everything will be alright.
I know that I actually stated
quite the opposite fact to you in my last letter as I felt scared by the very
thought of being touched by you again. But after some days I came to realize why
I was so scared. I began to understand the power your touch has over me. Yet
you always used that power in my best interest only. Your hand on my shoulder
could extinct all my anxieties and relieve me from pain, though I never managed
to scientifically explain this effect and maybe I never will. Maybe I shouldn’t
even try...
Kathryn, I trust you with my
life, I think I always have (apart from that shameful episode when I had
overloaded my cortical implant). I want to show you my trust and devotion the
way you will appreciate the most by being close to you, holding you, touching
you...
It looks like this day won't
be too far. When the last member of my crew will have recovered, this mission
is going to be suspended for an indefinite time. Starfleet Headquarters has
ordered me to return to Earth as soon as possible and work with their nuclear
science experts on a routine to prevent accidents like ours in the future. I
will inform you about the exact day of my arrival as soon as possible.
To be honest, I still
experience a high level of anxiety and uncertainty about our next meeting. Will
I still be the woman that you knew and loved or have I failed your
expectations?
But I have to know... and I
have to finally see you again.
Yours
Seven
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Letter 9 – by cubist
My dear Seven
It’s all happening so
soon! No, I do not mean to give you the
impression that our meeting will be happening too soon at all. I am simply
overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through me at the thought that tomorrow we
will finally meet, after such an intense period of exchanging our deepest
thoughts and feelings by letter.
I had thought that I would
have more time – suddenly I feel very unprepared and worried. Hearing that your arrival has been put
forward by several days has cut short the time I previously had available to
prepare myself. But what am I saying? You will no doubt think that I wish to avoid
this meeting, or am unhappy that it is happening so soon, forgive me,
Seven. That is not the case at all! Let me take a moment to calm my overexcited
nerves and establish just what is the root cause of this rush of terror and
delight...
I took a break by rereading
all of our correspondence, and I want to respond now to a question I realise I
did not answer at the time you raised it.
I think the same issue is at the heart of my own turmoil, so let me take
heart from the courage you have revealed in your communication and dare to emulate
you.
You asked “how can something
as fleeting and as transient as touch, even shared kisses, be more than what we
have now?”
Whatever may happen as a
result of our meeting tomorrow, please know that in every way you have met, and
exceeded, my every expectation of you.
Indeed, there are times when I must quietly admit that you continue to
astound in me in ways that I could never have dreamed possible.
I wish you could know how
proud I am of you, for your willingness to methodically dismantle the only way
of being you had known in order to find your way back to your human roots. I am sad to hear that the MIDAS project came
to such an unfortunate end, but beneath that sadness is a recognition of the
tremendous self-development you have undergone.
I read of your distress at the injuries your colleagues suffered, of
your wish to empathise with them even to the point of delaying your own healing
(not that I recommend that!), of your frustration at the mistake that cost your
team so dearly and your concerns about your role in this event as the team
leader – can’t you see how magnificent your compassion is, how deeply caring
and responsive you prove yourself to be?
How could I do anything but admire you?
I learn so much from you, my
lovely Seven. I am hoping to learn even
more. Perhaps, this time, we could learn
together? I know that you speak of being
a willing student again, but in matters of the heart, we are both students, and
we both have the opportunity to learn from and teach each other. I know that in a later letter you say that
you understand how touch can be reassuring, as it was for you onboard Voyager,
but I think the question you raised goes beyond the fears of unfamiliar
intimacy to the deeper fear of moving a relationship from one expression into
another and then fearing discovering, perhaps, that it is not as fulfilling an
expression as one had before.
I want to reassure you that
wherever we may go in this journey together we both always have the option of
choosing to stop, or choosing to revert to a previous manner of
expression. The deepening of a
relationship can feel like a fearful thing.
Stepping into new emotional and physical territory may initially feel
uncomfortable and unfamiliar. This is
perfectly normal, and both of us have experienced fears and feelings of delight
at the thought of deepening our relationship.
I think the fact of our continued dialogue proves that even though we
have fears, our desire to deepen what we have is much stronger. It is this desire that will carry us through
our fears, if we allow it to, if we choose it to.
There are not many hours left
before you arrive in a tingle of sparkles.
Maybe when you do you can reassure me, and put to rest my worries and
concerns that a moody old Admiral might not good enough for you?
There is so much I want to
say to you, but some things are best said accompanied by the touch and kisses
that both of us are so eager to explore... wherever they may take us.
With love in a quiet, hopeful
heart,
Kathryn
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Letter
10 – by MercyCroft
My
Kathryn,
You
will most probably laugh when you receive this.
There are only 2.5 hours remaining until you return. Though this method of correspondence has
become such a comfort and a habit that I could not resist writing to you. I planned to send this message electronically
to your desk terminal at Headquarters, though I think I will copy it out by
hand with your silver pen and send it by courier to your office. I would like you to hold it in your hands as
you read it.
Let
me tell you what I have done today so far.
I
awoke at 0700 and dressed. Your
oversized nightshirt does not quite fit me, though I wore it anyway, because it
smells of you and the lavender shampoo you prefer. I cooked an omelette for breakfast – your
skillet is of inadequate size, and I hope it was not presumptuous of me to
replicate a new one. Do you ever cook?
Although I find myself at a ‘loose end’ since
the termination of the MIDAS project, I discovered that I was enjoying spending
my time idly. This was a revelation to
me.
From
0800 to 0930 I watched the television. There were 1,359 channels, but nothing
on.
At
1030, I decided it was best that I wash.
I used your shower on a hydro setting, and found the sensation
pleasant. I have never had occasion to
use a water shower before, and realise that I have been missing much.
Reluctant
to dress again, I walked around your apartment naked for a short time. I wonder if this information pleases
you. I wonder if you are now blushing as
you sit at your desk. I hope this is the
case.
Eventually,
modesty and a slight chill made me dress again in your nightshirt. I was left
with nothing to do but to sit on your couch and think about last night.
I
hope you know that you have transformed me irrevocably. This thing that is such an enormous part of
being human – I cannot believe that I have gone without it for so long. You have given me a tremendous gift, and
though I grateful, I am not sentimental about it. I simply want more. I want you in my arms, your mouth on my
neck. I want your fingertips buried in
the flesh of my hips. I want your mouth
back between my legs.
To
think of you reading these things at your desk, surrounded by work and your efficient
but conversationally-inept Ensigns, is making me aroused.
It is
a new and fascinating sensation – this level of arousal. I have felt flutters of it underneath great
affection, need and longing during our interactions on Voyager. But now that we have laid bare our feelings
and shared incredible intimacies, I find that the mere thought of you makes my
nanoprobes sing in my blood and my groin flood with heat. I feel my body in a way I never have before. My hands and my feet, my breasts and my
shoulders, the silver streaks on my thighs and abdomen, they feel part of me
like they never have. Perhaps this was
something that I lost when the Borg took me apart and reassembled me in their
image, all those years ago. Whether this
is true or not, I feel reconnected.
Reconstituted. Dead neural
connections have been turned on. All of
me wants to touch and be touched by you.
Do
you feel the same way? I remember how
you sweated. The incessant movement of
your hips. The sounds you made. Do these mean you would want me again? Would continue to want me, in your life, your
bed... your home?
There
was one moment. One I have replayed in
my eidetic memory many thousands of times during the last hour. It was ten minutes after our second hydro
shower, though you were covered again in a light sheen of sweat. The carpet was rough beneath my knees but I
hardly noticed, and you could see the dampness of the sheets in the 100%
lights. You had spread your legs so wide
that I worried you would split apart, and all of your skin was gorgeous, pink
and flushed, with 29,201 visible freckles in patterns that I could trace like
wave frequencies. You tugged on my hair
painfully and raised yourself up onto your elbows so that you could look me in
the face, and you swallowed and said,
‘That’s
just perfect.’
It
was. Just perfect.
Last
night, we engaged in ‘pillow talk.’ I am
ashamed to admit, however, that I am still filled with questions. I do not believe I will ever stop asking you
for answers. If you had thought that
teaching me to love you was the last lesson, I fear you will be sorely
disappointed. My curiosity will never
run dry. I will need everything you can
give me, for the rest of our years on Earth.
Do you
think you could live with this?
Love,
From
Seven
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Letter
11 – by MsRadley
My dear Seven,
I fear I shall never tire of
calling you "my dear Seven".
Not that I wish to give the impression that I feel ownership over you in
some way but these last few glorious hours together have assured me of one
thing; that you most certainly own my heart.
Nobody has ever been, nor will ever be, more dear to me.
I did indeed laugh at
receiving your letter however not in the way you may think. It was a laugh of joy, you had occupied my
thoughts all day and to have the object of my thoughts appear in such beautiful
script before me was more than I could wish for.
And if your mission was to
make me blush and thoroughly aroused at my desk then you certainly succeeded,
as probably became clear to your when I finally returned home this
evening. Never before has desire like
this coursed through my veins and although I find it almost frightening and
overwhelming I would not trade these feelings for anything, you complete
me. A part of me that I didn't know was
missing seems to have locked into place overnight.
In answer to your question,
no I never cook. Why cook when there are
replicators? Or gorgeous young women in
ill-fitting nightclothes to cook for you?
I never pictured you as the domestic type but I'm sure I could get used
to you occupying your time in my kitchen.
Starfleet Fire Services would also be pleased.
I am sorry for waking you so
early this morning but an Admiral's work is never done, especially this close
to the end of a long project. However,
getting up and going to my office this morning was one of the hardest things I
have had to do. Not that you made it any
easier by insisting on helping me get dressed which ended in me requiring two
showers this morning. Not that I'm
complaining.
As I write this you are
asleep in my bed, I am sitting at my desk watching you in awe and wonderment
and barely able to believe my luck.
Whatever I did to deserve such beauty and love in my life I am truly
thankful for.
I think back to the times
when I would watch you regenerate aboard Voyager. At first I attempted to convince myself that
you were a security risk and needed to be monitored, as time went by I
convinced myself that I simply wanted to assure myself that you were adjusting
to life on Voyager. Eventually I began
to realise that I simple wanted to be with you.
Quite possibly the simplest of human feelings and frailties. The desire to be together.
And, of course, the desire to
be physically together. I have
never considered myself to be a passionate woman but you have transformed me
irrevocably also. The desire to go back
to bed and take you in my arms and make love to you is almost too much for me
to take. But I want you to know that you
are more to me than just that, you are more than a physical flirtation for
me. Part of me feels I should apologise
for my almost rough behaviour when I returned this evening but the bigger part
of me knows that you enjoyed being taken in the foyer like that. Not bad for a moody old Admiral after all.
You asked if I would to
continue to want you in my life, my bed, my home. The answer is; of course yes, a thousand times
yes. If you leave you will take my
heart. Now I have experienced such joy I
could never go back to the way I was.
I will never tire of your
questions; in fact I relish each and every one of them for they inject a new
sense of life into me. Your questions
open my own eyes and allow me to see the world afresh, a gift that no other
could ever give. A wonderful gift. I hope you continue to ask questions of me
every single day of our lives together and I hope that those days go on and
on.
These letters mean more to me
than you could ever know, a physical documentation of our hopes, fears,
desires, love and dreams all placed with care and love on paper with inks. Such fragile materials to hold such weighty
expressions.
I love you with all my heart
my dear Seven, I think I always have.
Yours forever, if you'll have
me,
Kathryn